Real talk; awkward stage

I've never played poker, but I have a feeling the hand I've been dealt at this time in life is just the pits.

A few weeks ago I was talking my friend through some lady and he said, "The only girls our age are married, on missions, or you!" I laughed, because well. it was funny. and truer than true. but lately, I've been feeling that hit me right in the gut. (the situation, not what he said, I'm not even almost mad about what he said, cause like I said, it's true!)

I'm at the most awkward stage of my life. 80% of my good friends are on missions, and when they come back, they will proceed on with school. Me? I'm done with what school I want for the time being (and probably forever if we're being honest), and I don't see myself going back in the near future. I have a lot of free time, and I'm not a poor starving student. (#realtalk) I've always been like, Oh when Jessy gets back it'll all be better. but then it hit me, it won't be that different. she'll go on with college and yada yada, and I'll stay the same.

I'm just at this stupid awkward phase of life and I'm ready for it to be over. I'm not saying I want to get married or anything, but I guess I just wouldn't mind some change.

As Randy Pausch said, in The Last Lecture, “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

I know Heavenly Father dealt me these cards for a reason, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it for now.



  1. I think everyone has those times and they come and go. You've kind of had to put everything on hold these past six months, which is really great of you, but not super fair. So it's understandable that you're feeling that way. Keep on truckin for a few more weeks or months, but honestly, in the meantime you should really try to figure out what you want the change to be. When it is a good time to do something different. Unfortunately sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands and hand pick your own poker cards because the lord wants you to figure out for yourself what you need and what will make you happy. Plus he doesn't like poker. Any time you need a pep talk though, I'm your girl. I haven't been through exactly what you are right now, but I sure as heck understand.

  2. Good thoughts, Emily. We all pass through awkward times in our lives and the key is passing through. When you have the faith, attitude and stick-to-it attitude, good things will come. But don't be afraid to make some changes and take some chances while you are young and unattached. There are so many adventures before you. Love and good wishes coming your way.

  3. Thank you for putting a name to this stage of life that I am also sharing! It truly is an awkward stage. I'm so happy that you wrote this because I feel the same way. I've actually been thinking about a blog post about this same idea because I'm trying to understand it/make peace with it too. Also, OH MY GOODNESS I AM OBSESSED WITH SAN FRANCISCO! LET US GOOOO!

  4. I just hope you know how much joy and light you bring into people every day. I was even telling my husband the other day that I wish I expressed my creativity and love for life as much as you do. You're a light, and I love your example. Keep on being wonderful Holly!