EVERY chemo round, I vividly picture Hagrid saying, "A storm's comin'. and we best be ready when it does"
chemo is soul-sucking. end of story. at the beginning, one of my best friends, who has seen a close family member go through this, sent me one hell of a text. full of realistic expectations, but at the same time, encouragement. she told me that I would be a beacon to my mom; that I had my dad, and other siblings, but that I would be the light that my mom needs. It sounds like a lot of pressure, and sometimes it is, but luckily I am mentally healthy enough to hand things over to my dad and get out for a while when I need to. and you know what? it may be a big job, but I'm happy to do it. my mom and dad raised me in the most perfect way possible. I think about how I want to raise my kids, and I wouldn't do a thing different.
so I'm happy to share this little light of mine to the woman who raised me.
Since the last round was especially scary and sucky, I have been preparing mentally for this one more than before. I am so grateful for a worthy priesthood holder for a dad, and that I can feel the peace that a blessing brings.
So I'm ready to be brave. but it is my belief, from personal experience, that bravery isn't 24/7. if you are brave all the time, then you have some serious bottled-up issues, and I know a good therapist.