patience and timing

I missed my mom. I am 20 AND A HALF years old, and while my mom was in the hospital, 10 minutes away, I missed her. I believe whole-heartedly that you would too. (miss my mom)

She's home now, after 17 miserable and soul-sucking days in the hospital. I just spent half hour laying on her bed, talking to her about all sorts of things. it felt so good, man. it feels good to have my mom back. she is so much more herself at home than she ever was even in her best hospital moments. (few and far between)

I try to think of things in the long-run. I know for a fact that this dang stupid hospital stay was a test, and a warm-up. it was to be like, "ok, you got this, now you should be able to handle the rest". cause really, I know chemo is also soul-sucking and horrible, but so is renal failure/pneumonia/morphine headaches. (in fact, I don't think anything can be worse than that morphine headache, seriously)

I have learned a huge lesson on patience. I was getting kinda frustrated and confused, because I would pray, and she wouldn't get better, and I'd pray some more, and she would get better then something else would happen, and repeat. and I was like, whaaaat is happening? how does this all work out? but then somewhere along the line, I was like, OH DUH. patience. this is teaching us all patience. Faith and patience are needed to have your prayers answered. God's timing is perfect, and you just have to learn to trust that. it's hard, it might keep being hard. he won't always answer prayers right away, or in the way you expect, but they will be answered. they were. she came home. and she is happy.

his timing is perfect, down to every green light on state street.

thank you all, a million times thank you, for everything you do and have done and will do.


  1. Holly-doll-you are right when you say 'soul-sucking' to describe these things. They really can be. Remember that soul-sucking can be reversible and being home is one of the best places for that to happen! You guys really know how to strengthen eachother and that is a huge blessing. I'm proud of all of you! I fee like I've been far away from you for a million years, but I'll be back soon and I'll be available for anything (no matter how crazy) that will be of help or uplift, ok? love you to pieces!!!

  2. Holly, Grandma Crawley (Maggie Smith) said we have one trial after another. We get over one, then another comes along and we get over it . . . then we die. Its pretty much true. I'm glad I know the why's and how's to go along with all the trials.